Twits and Twitter

We live in the strangest world ever. Not content to live our lives quietly and privately, people upload everything about themselves onto the computer.

Youtube, for instance, is chock-full of folks showcasing their birthday parties and other moments of intimacy for the whole world to see. In the spirit of helpfulness, Youtubers will film videos showing themselves lancing boils and pimples and all kinds of other yucky and disgusting things.

Of course, on Facebook, we can see what our loved ones did over the weekend and what they just ate for breakfast. And when little Mia does her first number one in the potty, proud parents will share the photo of her happy face.

And then there is Twitter. Here we can “follow” people and hear their every thought throughout the day.

To me, Twitter really demonstrates how the world has changed l80 degrees since I was young. If back then someone tried to follow me, I would have called the police.

Although I do my share of sharing through this modest blog, I don’t do any social media: no Facebook, Linked In, Instagram, or Twitter. But given that I have amassed a humongous international and worldwide readership (not), I do worry sometimes that I am depriving my fans by not Twittering.

So in the service of Christian charity, I have decided that I would let you in on all of the exciting — no, riveting — details of an average day in the life of me, your intrepid, Berkeley correspondent.

8 am: Wake up. . . still wiped out. . .fall back asleep.

8:30 am: Force self out of bed and go into the kitchen and make breakfast. Here’s a picture of it: oatmeal and bananas! Yum!

l0 am: Notice that toilet is appearing rather stinky. Time to clean it! Here’s a picture of me squirting some toilet cleaner into it. And look at the finished product! Practically sparkles, doesn’t it?

11 am to noon: Time for a shower and a quick lunch. Chicken sandwich with mayo and lettuce. Here’s a photo!

1 pm Head off to the grocery store. The rotisserie chicken is on sale for 20% off!! Looks delicious, and I plan to pair it tonight with a baked potato.

2 pm Drive across town to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The horrible road rage out there makes me think some decidedly un-Christian thoughts. Have to remember to read the Bible more on Christian love!

5 pm It’s time to eat that rotisserie chicken. But darn it, the potato looks moldy. I’m eating it instead with a big salad: here’s a photo!

10 pm Well, it’s now late in the evening, and it’s time to sign off. I’m going to hop into bed and hopefully catch some Zs.

As you can see, it has been a fruitful and thoroughly fascinating day, and I have enjoyed sharing it with you. I plan to do a bit more Twitter-ing tomorrow as I go sock shopping.

JC Penney’s has a two-for-one sale on Calvin Klein socks!!! So be sure to tune in then. You won’t want to miss it!

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