Alexander and Me

I had lunch with a friend the other day. Our conversation sounded like an old Seinfeld episode, although it actually happened.

Friend: I’m really psyched. My husband got us tickets to Hamilton for my birthday.

Me: To what?

Friend: Hamilton . You know, the hit Broadway play that’s on stage in San Francisco.

Me: Do you mean Hamlet?

Friend: (rolling her eyes) Seriously? You haven’t heard of Hamilton?

Me: Well, no, I haven’t.

Friend: Don’t you know anything going on?

Me: No, I really don’t.

Friend: (more eye rolling) Well, everyone else on the planet has heard of Hamilton. It is a super hot ticket and very costly.

Me: What’s it about?

Friend: (with utter condescension) What is it about? It’s about Hamilton!

Me: You mean, George? Why would anyone make a play about George Hamilton??

Friend: You are pathetic! It’s about Alexander Hamilton!!

Me: (starting to laugh hysterically) You are kidding me, right? The hottest play on Broadway is about Alexander Hamilton?

Friend: (defensively) It’s supposed to be amazing! Everyone else in SF wants to see it except for you!

Me: Why would anyone want to see a play about one of our least popular presidents?

Friend: (getting seriously annoyed) He wasn’t President!!!!!!! He was an immigrant so he couldn’t become President! Don’t you know anything about American history?

Me: What country did he emigrate from?

Friend: I don’t know! I haven’t seen the play yet!

Me: Wasn’t he the federalist that set the stage for our huge, bloated government and a corrupt national bank, the Federal Reserve?

Friend: You are a total conspiracy nut! Hamilton was an illegitimate child, an immigrant, but he became an important figure in American politics!

Me: Well, what did he exactly do?

Friend: (irritated) I told you; I haven’t seen the play yet!

Me: Is it a musical? (more uproarious laughter on my part as my friend shakes her head “yes”) So you’re paying a fortune to see a musical about Alexander Hamilton because he was an illegitimate child who came from somewhere beyond?

Friend: Obviously you don’t know about the controversy right after Trump was elected and how the cast came out and lectured Pence.

Me: What did they lecture Pence about?

Friend: It was about immigrant issues and belonging and how Hamilton didn’t belong but he became a part of the American dream!

Me: But wasn’t that rude, that the cast embarrassed the new Vice President of the United States by lecturing him?

Friend: I don’t think it was rude; he deserved it!

Me: What did he deserve it for? He hadn’t been in office long enough to do anything!

Friend: (severely annoyed) But the cast knew that he was going to do something horrible soon so they told him what they thought.

Me: It still feels really disrespectful that they did this. They wouldn’t have disrespected Obama or Biden that way.

Friend: Well, Obama and Biden weren’t going to do something horrible!

Me: OK, so you’re going to pay a fortune to see a musical on your birthday about Alexander Hamilton, with Alexander singing and dancing — about what?

 Big government and a national bank that robs us of our money??

Friend: You are impossible. I’m never telling you anything I’m doing ever again.

Me: Just let me know when they make a musical about George Hamilton. At least the lead actor would be good-looking.

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